Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
