I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Randomize
