Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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