another moral hangover. fuck.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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