They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
