I need help removing her.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
honey bunches of taint.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
