we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize