No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize