i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize