4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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