i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
