morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We are all done wearing pants today
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
