Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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