see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
