mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
