So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I have fence marks all over my body
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
