he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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