Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize