At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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