my phone needs a breathalizer
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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