Ambien. No doubt about it.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
