I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
