i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
