Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
