my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she smelled like a LAN party
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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