dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
