I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize