Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
