i think my mom watched the whole time
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
