I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
