we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
