But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Randomize