what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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