And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
