WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
