You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize