Whats the glycemic index on semen?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
