Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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