whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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