So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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