You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
