he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
