I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
