i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
what day is it and did you see me today?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
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