My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
