Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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