i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
