I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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