Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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