did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
