You're completely useless in the revolution.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm just crazy horny about you
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
