Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize