Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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