and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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