What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
