Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
