walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
