So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
