Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My ass is underappreciated
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
